My children...

To the boys:  "You have a younger sister. Life will be forever dramatic from this point out."

To Nyla:  "No. The kitty really doesn't love you. She's not your best friend. I should have named you Elvira."

To Jonas:  "Learning to get along doesn't mean give in."
To Nyla: "Learning to get along doesn't mean whine until your brother gives in."
To Aden: "Avoiding your little sister is not how to get along with her."

To all the kids: "You better learn to love each other now, because one day I won't be here and you'll only have each other."
Aden: "Not if we don't live through puberty."
Me: "Good point."

To Nyla: "I understand vengeance is on your list of things to do. Hence, you will not be in charge of my medication nor picking my nursing home when I finally go senile."

To Aden: " "Taking the easy way out does get the job done. But, doing it the right way, is actually less work. No. No. I'm not washing the floors by hand. I know, it does a better job, but I'm just going to use the mop. What? No. I'm not taking the easy way out."

To Jonas: "If you have aches and pains now, you're in a world of hurt when you're my age. I know. I'm ancient."

How to solve boredom:
From Jeff to Jonas: "You're bored? Walk around the table 100 times. Count how many steps it takes to complete one rotation."
To Jeff from Jonas: "Uhm. Ok."
From Jeff to Jonas: "How many steps did it take you?"
To Jeff from Jonas: "16. 16 steps to get around. I'm tired."
From Jeff to Jonas: "Ok, so 16 steps to walk around the table. And you walked around it 100 times. How many steps did you take in all?"
To Jeff from Jonas: "Really? It's Saturday dad."
To both from Aden: "1,600 steps!"
To Aden from Me: "Hey! You aren't supposed to give the answer."
From Jonas: "1,600 steps."
From Jeff to Jonas: "Ok. So 1600 steps took you 20 minutes. So if you walked around the table for 4 hours, how many steps would it take and how many times did you go around the table?"
To Jeff from Jonas: "I'm not bored anymore."


Aden: "I watched some girl fall on the snow today. It was funny."
Me: "Ouch. Is she ok?"
Aden: "Hello? It's snow. It's soft white stuff..."
Me: "Mind taking the trash out?"
Aden takes the trash out, comes in with tears in his eyes.
Me: "What happened.?"
Aden: "I fell in the snow."
Me: "You mean the white, soft stuff?"
Aden: "Now's not the time for a life lesson! I hurt my elbow!"

Jonas: "You NEVER let us do ANYthing!!"
Me: "Well, that's not true. You really shouldn't exaggerate. I let you put your clothes away. And I let you take the trash out."

Little boy down the street rings the door bell and asks if the boys can come out to play.
"Not right now, their gloves are still drying. They'll be out in an hour or so."
"Glad to hear they are allowed out today."
"Yes. The parole board was in a good mood today."